Microsoft Win98 Code

[Andre' Kesteloot]

Jonas S. Madsen claims to have unearthed the top-secret
 source code for Windows 98. (And you don’t have to be a
 programmer to understand it--- just read it as if it were plain
text!)

         /*
         TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
         Project: Chicago(tm)
         Projected release-date: Summer 1998
         */
         #include "win31.h"
         #include "win95.h"
         #include "evenmore.h"
         #include "oldstuff.h"
         #include "billrulz.h"
         #define INSTALL = HARD

         char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

         void main()
         {
         while(!CRASHED)
         {
         display_copyright_message();
         display_bill_rules_message();
         do_nothing_loop();
         if (first_time_installation)
         {
         make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
         do_nothing_loop();
         totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
         search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
         hang_system();
         }
         write_something(anything);
         display_copyright_message();
         do_nothing_loop();
         do_some_stuff();
         if (still_not_crashed)
         {
         display_copyright_message();
         do_nothing_loop();
         basically_run_windows_3.1();
         do_nothing_loop();
         do_nothing_loop();
         do_nothing_loop();
         }
         }
         if (detect_cache())
         disable_cache();
         if (fast_cpu()) {
         set_wait_states(lots);
         set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
         set_mouse(action, jumpy);
         set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
         }
         /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
         /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
         printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
         if (system_ok())
         {
         bsod(random_err());
         crash(to_dos_prompt);
         }
         else
         system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
         while(something)
         {
         sleep(5);
         get_user_input();
         sleep(5);
         act_on_user_input();
         sleep(5);
         }
         create_general_protection_fault();
         }"