Dark Energy

[Joseph Bento]

On Nov 23, 2007, at 5:59 PM, Philip Miller Tate wrote:

> Oh, my goodness - you mean, we're all at risk of "global
> brightening"? Will it help if I paint my house with fluorescent paint
> and fill it with black lights?

You might have to partake of certain substances to obtain the ultimate  
benefit of black dark suckers.  Florescent paints and Jimmy Hendrix  
posters contain an abnormal amount of darkness in their pigments, that  
come brilliantly alive under the qualities of an ultraviolet dark  
sucker.  Uranium glass dishes would also make your meals come alive.   
Advise grandma not to wear her wig under such conditions.  The true  
colours revealed are not flattering.

> I have noticed that light bulbs suck in darkness, then go 'ping', and
> then don't suck in the darkness any more.

I forgot to mention that the typical dark sucker has a limited  
lifespan, and can hold only a finite amount of darkness.  You usually  
get what you pay for, and modern technology has greatly increased the  
amount of darkness a bulb can hold.   You will notice that the  
Edison / Swan bulbs seem to have one instantaneous moment of intense  
brilliance before going dark.  This is the last effort of the bulb to  
suck in the maximum amount of darkness for a brief fraction of a  
second.  CFLs on the other hand, due to some unexplained behaviour,  
start off slowly in their ability to suck the darkness, and gradually  
increase up to their maximum rating within a few minutes.  They  
struggle at the end of their lives, trying to maintain an even amount  
of darkness suction.  This behaviour is quite annoying, not to mention  
some florescent dark suckers also raise havoc in the radio spectrum.   
Their bandwidth expands beyond darkness, it seems.

> I have also notice that, in
> many respects, existence often sucks in general. Maybe we can save
> the planet - and the universe - by walking around with our eyes
> closed. It's gotta be worth trying it for a few days.

Yes, with some people, many of the world's problems cease to exist  
with one's eyes closed.  I'm acquainted with a few people that have  
even developed this skill with their eyes open.  I haven't yet  
mastered this task, however.  I close my eyes and the problems don't  
go away.



OK, back to reality for a moment.  While I was an electronics  
instructor in the Navy, a few of us teachers actually could convince  
some of the new students that a light bulb sucked darkness rather than  
emit light.  It began with the black coating that usually shows on  
clear glass bulbs after they burn out.  Yep, that's not a carbon  
deposit from the filament - that bulb sucked in all the darkness it  
could hold.  Of course we had to apologise and let them in on the joke  
- after a time.

Regards,

Joe