Test that Failed

[Phil]

> >>We have had a system that was supposed to notify the public in the event of a national emergency since 1950. There have been three different systems, the first was CONELRAD, which was COOL. 
>  
> CONELRAD was replaced by the Emergency Broadcast System, which was followed by the Emergency Alert System, which is what we have today. 
>  

On British TV last night (do you get "QI" in the US?) there was a discussion of homeland security in the late 1950s and early '60s, British-style. Harold Macmillan was Prime Minister, and the Ministry of Defence was very impressed by the US system of having the President in contact with Government at all times, even when travelling, by means of a dedicated radio - sorry, I meant 'wireless' - communication system, and considered that whatever the US had, the UK should have too. Needless to say, however, we couldn't afford a high-technology approach.

Now, the only nationwide mobile radio communication system that existed in those days was that operated by the Automobile Association to direct their team of motorcycle-and-sidecar-equipped mechanics to broken-down vehicles at the roadside (members only, naturally). It was therefore proposed that any vehicle carrying the Prime Minister be equipped with the AA's radio receiver equipment, so that in an emergency, a message could be sent to the PM's car. Unfortunately, owing to technical restrictions, the communication could not be made two-way, and so, on receipt of the emergency call, the driver would find the nearest public telephone box so that the PM could telephone the MoD to gain further information and issue instructions, e.g. to unleash the full might of the UK nuclear arsenal upon Moscow (or Peking, or Paris, or whoever the aggressor happened to be).

All problems with the proposals were fully discussed. Clearly, the most likely problem was that the PM would receive the message, be rushed to the nearest telephone box only to find that he was not carrying the necessary small change to make the call. Therefore, it was proposed that all drivers of the Prime Minister be issued with four one penny coins so that the call could be placed. However, this unwarranted expense on the Exchequer was countered by a minister who issued the following memo:

"The requirement to issue four one penny coins to the driver is clearly unnecessary. It is only necessary for the PM to dial 100, speak to the operator, and ask her to place a call to the MoD and to request that they accept a reverse-charged call."

Now THAT'S how you defend a country against nuclear attack.

Phil M1GWZ

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